Shruthi Harsha Perikal

“Balance is so important to me. I come from a family full of strong women, and with women of strength, there’s a lot of balance that happens.”

ROOPA VIRUPAKSHAIAH 

“I resonate with the feeling of taking flight. I enjoy freedom – of expression, of speech, of thinking.”

Freedom, I believe, is being able to change – change your career path, you can change your persona, your lifestyle. And pursue whatever your dreams are. We’re very lucky to be able to enjoy a lot of freedom in our lives and to be able to make many changes throughout our lifetime. I love that I am free to do a lot in my career as a model; to travel and work with so many different people every day. I love my free lifestyle.

As a woman in this industry, it's nice to be able to embody so much femininity but also be able to take on different characters. So one day you could be really feminine and one day you could be masculine – it’s nice to have this freedom to explore that.



shanali martin

As a woman in this industry, it’s nice to be able to embody femininity but also take on different characters. One day you could be feminine and another you could be masculine – it’s nice to have this freedom to explore.



Ambition is one of the biggest words in my life – I don’t think you can do anything without it. It started with an ambition to be a cricketer. Back then, we didn't know a lot about how my journey would go, based on how women's cricket was at that time. It took a lot of determination for me to get to a stage where I could back myself, and play for India.

The journey began with me going to practice with bhaiya, just to pick up balls for him whenever he used to bat. My dad was a big fan of cricket and he used to play too. I was just five or six years old, so they used to be scared that I’d get hit with the leather ball. So I would stand behind the net waiting for my brother's round to finish, go pick up the balls, give them to my dad, and go back. That’s how I first started learning about cricket. I don’t think anyone has taught me that ‘this is a cover drive’ or ‘this is a straight drive’. It was the most important thing for me to stand behind my brother and watch him bat because he was also a left-handed batter and that’s how I picked up shots.

I feel blessed to be a woman in sports because I have an opportunity to change things for women in India. Not many people in life get to do what they love as their profession, so I feel blessed. I used to dream about my goals and what I wanted to achieve for myself, but now it’s transformed into a greater responsibility to get more girls playing cricket. This is our team goal. We want to leave women's cricket at a better place than where it is now.

The songs I listen to before a match are actually love songs or breakup songs. I know most people listen to motivational music, but it makes me feel a little more nervous and anxious. Slow songs calm me down.

A place that makes me feel limitless…is of course the cricket ground for me. That’s where magic happens for us. Especially the 22-yard wicket where I bat.

Whatever I do, I really put my heart into it; I really enjoy it. There are a lot of things you have to do in order to play cricket – you have to go to the gym, you have to train, you have practice sessions. And I enjoy all of it. People sometimes forget to enjoy the process before actually focusing on the result. If you do it for yourself, enjoy it and follow your passion, things will happen.



Smriti Mandana, Opening batter for the Indian women's national cricket team.

Smriti Mandhana

Ambition is one of the biggest words in my life – I don’t think you can do anything without it. It took a lot of determination for me to get to a stage where I could back myself, and play for India.

DEEPIKA TIKKAVARAPU

“As a woman, you're always going to juggle so many different roles. So I don't think there's ever going to be the perfect balance. It’s about the choices you make.”

SRIPRIYA REDDY

“In my design, I like to go with things that are more delicate; things that have detail. I like that every piece has a meaning.”

It feels like Indian cinema and web series actor Sobhita Dhulipala is exactly where she belongs – surrounded by evocative thoughts and self-reflection. Beyond the eclectic and sharp artiste that the world sees, Sobhita is most often perceptive, sometimes self-deprecating, but always pleasantly unfiltered.
Her mind perceives situations with refreshing clarity. Says Sobhita, “I’ve been told to sound likeable, or assertive, or easier to understand in interviews. But say something happens; perhaps I take a flight that doesn’t land – who will represent my feelings, my opinions? Who will speak on my behalf? People would’ve never known me then. I would just be another person who breathed, ate, and left. I want to be heard. I believe that if you’re given a voice and you don’t use it, then you don’t deserve it.”

Anybody could be sitting here and speaking about the brand (Her Story), and it would still be authentic because the brand is not about a type, a script, a narrative. It’s about all types of women; all types of spirits. It embodies the idea that preciousness isn’t from materials or acquisitions. Meaning comes from the emotions infused into something, I see myself in a variety of roles, and when I wear something, it really affects the way I conduct myself. I keep imagining that when I have a daughter or a son, I want to give them a piece of jewellery that’s going to reflect who I am as much in the design as in the sentiment.
Ultimately, what one sees in Sobhita Dhulipala when they look past her ‘image’ is someone who is constantly questioning what it means to be her. “I am not one thing,” she explains. “There are moments when I’m needy, or annoying, or extremely fragile; I’m not strong in those moments. I am okay with that.”

This is where Sobhita gets it really right, in her complete self-awareness that every situation, interaction and experience is what truly makes her, her. She reveals the many facets of her personality without fear, slowly, and very gracefully, telling her story in a mesmerising way. It’s almost like…Poetry in Motion.


SOBHITA DHULIPALA

I want to be heard. I believe that if you’re given a voice and you don’t use it, then you don’t deserve it.

I’ve always been very rooted. My dad used to work in the air force, so we moved a lot. When we finally settled down in Bangalore, it was the first time we had a home and stayed in a place for a long time and that resonated with me a lot. Moving away from there was quite difficult, because it was the first time I had a feeling of home and suddenly it was lost again. It took a while for me to feel that way in Bombay, but I think when you make connections and form strong bonds with people, you start to feel a little bit more anchored somewhere…a little bit more rooted.

If I go to a place and I know people there, I immediately feel more connected to that place. For me those connections with people are so important, like good friendships where you can count on each other. So no matter where I am in the world, if there’s someone there that I feel close to or that I have an intimate connection with, I feel more secure. Home, to me, is really the people that I share my time with.

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of home is a sense of comfort. The feeling when I wake up in the morning and look out my window and see the sunrise. It’s difficult to really put into words but I feel that coziness.

Tradition to me is anything that I do with my family. One tradition that I love is making modaks on Ganesh Chaturthi. I did that recently with friends and it felt really nice.


ADITI SIVARAMAN

For me, the idea of roots is connected to people that I have very deep connections with.

For me, tradition becomes significant when it feels relevant and when it feels personal and truthful to who I am today. From the time I was born, I was travelling across multiple continents – both with my family and eventually on tour with my music. So from a very early age, I had to define what it meant for myself to be rooted. To carry who I am and where I come from within myself regardless of where I happen to be.

I grew up learning our beautiful Indian classical music and the incredible thing about it is that it’s simultaneously ancient and also improvised. So there’s a duality within it of being something that’s connected back down through ancestors, generations long, and also being very current, very in-the-moment and coming from that individual. So for me tradition is something that has a lineage; that is evolving with each person who passes it down.

I think heritage is such a fascinating thing because it can be worn as something quite ‘weighty’, but it also can be worn lightly. I think the more I got comfortable with the fact that my heritage or my lineage is just simply within me by virtue of who I am, then it didn’t become something that I had to think too consciously about how to represent. It will flow through what I do because it’s already in me.

I think how we get to define what it means to be Indian or to be global is something very very personal. For me, it means I’ve had the opportunity to feel comfortable in who I am around the world. It means that I get to represent my culture to people who may be less familiar with it. But I also get to come back to my country and still feel like I belong. Which is something I don’t take for granted, and I really feel grateful for it.

What home is for me has changed over the years. I used to think that I could just feel at home anywhere. And I realise now that it’s more that I can feel comfortable in many places – but that’s not the same as feeling ‘at home’. Being at home comes from feeling small intimacies and understanding the rhythms of a place; when you get the nuances that people are speaking with, or when you know where to turn or have your favourite comforts. Those things come with time. What makes me feel at home is the people. If my children are there, if my key family members and the people I truly love are there, then I’m home.

I have really distinct memories of India from when I was a child, because in my early years I lived between London and India. So whenever I would come back, the change would just really hit all my senses. I remember things like…eating a mango. My mum would say ‘those aren’t mangoes, THIS is a mango’ or ‘this is how a mango is meant to taste’. And other intense sensory things like the hot and thick rain that just envelops you.

As my children grow up, we’re talking about India, about my roots, about where they come from. The thing we keep coming back to more and more are the family stories – the things that I’ve been told about my great grandmother from my mother, that if I don’t tell someone else that story will disappear. Or the little stories about my father. His big biography is known by a lot of people but what are those little nuances of what it was like to be him within his family, or what was his parents like? I just love telling those stories because when we carry that within us it’s something really special that we get to have.

The world is becoming more and more international every year; there has been so much change in how different cultures interact with each other. When I was younger, things felt a lot more disjointed and separated, so for people of that age group it would have felt confusing to be partially Indian, partially American, and partially British. There was such a real sense of…breaking loyalty if you were not the right part of yourself in the right place. And I feel that it’s not disjointedness anymore – it’s a richness of experience. For me as an artist, my work has to represent who I am, it has to tell my story as someone that has Indian roots but has lived a global life. My music carries that respect for my tradition while also moving forward in a way that feels like it represents my world.



Anoushka shankar, Grammy-nominated musician

Anoushka shankar

For me, tradition becomes significant when it feels relevant and when it feels personal and truthful to who I am today. It is something that has a lineage; that is evolving with each person who passes it down.

RUPAL GAGGAR BANSAL

“​​Building bonds comes naturally to me. It’s how I connect easily with people but also stand out among them.”

Ambition is personal. Anything that involves growth is ambitious, so it’s really subjective. You have to keep going. If you have an ambition then that’s the inspiration, if you have a goal then that’s what keeps you going. You have to keep your eyes on the prize.

I started modelling when I was 18, and it rolled into different jobs. In 2016, I was scouted by Balenciaga to be one of the first Indian faces for them. I would describe the journey as challenging, exciting, and a learning experience.

When I first started, it was to book jobs that Indian girls usually don’t book. To be not seen as a race but just as a person. I was ambitious to see myself on platforms where you won’t see people like me.

I don’t chase material anymore. I’ve met different kinds of people through life which have taken me away from material growth. I’m more inclined to grow spiritually.

Radhika nair, The first Indian model to walk exclusively for Balenciaga

Radhika nair

If you have an ambition, that’s the inspiration. If you have a goal, that’s what keeps you going. Anything that involves growth is ambitious.

For me, finding balance is the most important. Finding the time to heal myself emotionally, mentally, or physically. I find a way to do that by reconnecting with myself. Doing the little things that make me ‘me’. When I'm in that place, I know the true intent behind everything I do, every decision that I take, and that for me is my balance – that’s where I find myself.

My most vital role at the moment is being a mother; I have a three-year-old son. But, besides that, I have a creator in me that likes to conceptualise things. It’s something that runs in my mind 24/7. I am also soon-to-be an entrepreneur. So everyday is a step closer to something that I want, but it also means I have to balance these roles and do the best that I can do.

Ideologies, I believe, are always something that you create within yourself versus what somebody else wants out of you. Being a mother comes with a set of rules, where you’re meant to do a few things a certain way. I struggled for the first one year, to find my way – to figure out whether I was doing the right thing. I think my greatest learning has been as a mother. To realise my strengths, mostly.

Building confidence has been number one for me. Finding my way through my own insecurities as somebody who had lost a part of herself but had found newer parts. I had more access to newer parts of me. I think that was something that made me really want to strive harder, to be more connected with how I saw myself.

I'm someone who has a vision that’s very clear in my mind. Whether it be me struggling with figuring out an equation – being a mother to being a working model – or looking forward to the future, I take everything as something that’s teaching me. Everything is adding to my core and is going to just help me be more powerful and more focused on where I have to go. It’s more like an inward journey, and I think that’s probably the reason why I seem so zen – because I've never lost sight of where I need to head.

Rachel Bayros, Model

rachel bayros

For me, finding balance is the most important. I do that by reconnecting with myself; doing the little things that make me ‘me’.

AILA TEJA

“Leading a life of determination is one of my core values, and I've carried that since I was a child. It's important for me to find work that I genuinely care about, no matter the obstacles.”

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of home is my dogs and cats. And home is about food. My mum always makes the best food so every time I think ‘I’m going home’, the first thing that comes to my mind is ‘I get to eat my mama's food’. So…I feel most rooted when my stomach is satiated!

My sister Aditi and I didn't have the most traditional upbringing, but my mum always really enjoyed celebrating festivals and doing all of the things that come with celebrating festivals. We always joined her and that was kind of a tradition for us. The three of us sitting in the kitchen and cooking, or sitting outside and making kolams – which is like rangoli.

Home, to me, is family, friends and being able to be in a safe space with loved ones. Anywhere I can be me.


ANJALI SIVARAMAN

Home is being in a safe space with your friends and loved ones. Anywhere I can be me.

I think my definition of balance has changed. Earlier it was focused more on my children, especially when I was a new mother. And now, I feel that balance is not about doing anything perfectly – it’s about just doing the task that you have at that moment to the best of your ability. I don’t even think that perfection is something that is a worthwhile pursuit. I’ve started a new technique whenever I’m writing now, where I choose the worst font possible and my first draft is almost like I’ve thrown up on the page. If you try and pursue perfection, you don’t even take the first step. And if you decide that it doesn’t matter what the first step is, then you can actually get really close to perfection.

I don’t think any of us can claim to be perfect at anything. We are all trying our best. I belong to a tribe that I’d like to call ‘the tribe of imperfect mothers’. We are the ones who will forget that it’s a holiday and send our child to school, or we will sometimes forget to make lunch. During the pandemic I gave my child peanut butter sandwiches for a week. I don’t believe in this concept of being a perfect mother or giving them a perfect childhood. I think that my job is to honour their strengths, and to make them aware of their weaknesses without underlining them.

I believe that nobody else can really make sure that you are happy, that you are having a good time, and that your mind is occupied. So I entertain myself, whether that means making jokes at myself or people around me, but I think that keeps me sane. I try to see things not as obstacles, but as tragic comedies.

The closest I can come to a perfect day is when I have time to drink my coffee, do my Wordle and read a little bit. I read aloud and it annoys everyone around me. If I have time to do that, then it’s a good start. Playing with my kids, my dog, working in my garden, practising my guitar – I’m terrible at it, but it does give me a lot of peace – all these things sort of ground me.

The best thing about donning many hats is that sometimes you can pull a rabbit out of each one. And if you pull it out of three and pull a snake out of the fourth, you’re still not doing as badly as someone who had only one hat and didn’t pull anything out of it.

Twinkle khanna, Author, entrepreneur and producer

Twinkle khanna

Balance is not about doing anything perfectly – it’s about doing the task that you have at that moment to the best of your ability. I don’t even think that perfection is a worthwhile pursuit.

Known for her distinctive aesthetic, product designer and textile innovator Akanksha Deo Sharma has made headlines as Ikea’s first and only Indian designer.

I’ve always questioned the idea of home. For me, home is not a person, or my house, or my country. It’s what I feel when I am on the road, when I am moving. It’s changed from being a place to becoming a feeling.

It’s a constant journey, to keep getting closer to who you really are. I think it can be quite daunting, because you have to face your fears; your inhibitions. Maybe it’s because we don’t spend enough time with ourselves…when I’m sitting alone, I look at myself and wonder, who is this person? I should get to know her more.

I just don’t get the chance to be with people all the time. So I have to rely on myself, or cherish times when I don’t need anyone else to experience a moment with.

A lot of people know me for my work at IKEA. That’s why I do projects outside of that role to show the side of me that’s a designer, an artist and a creator. People see the emotion, intensity and the openness with which I do things. What they don’t see is that my inner self is still a child.

I feel like a different person in different situations. Of course there is a core ‘me’, but I enjoy having variations of myself.

I am getting comfortable with myself, slowly but surely. You have to be kind to yourself in a way that you embrace the person you were in the past…and accept the fact that you’re not that person anymore, but constantly evolving.

AKANKSHA DEO SHARMA

I’ve always questioned the idea of home. For me, home is not a person, or my house, or my country. It’s what I feel when I am on the road, when I am moving. It’s changed from being a place to becoming a feeling.

Passion to me is something that comes straight from the heart. I think each one of us has something that we’re chosen to do and you instantly feel a connection to it. Passion comes from that true love for art or anything you want to do. It’s when the brain shuts off and your soul and your heart tell you to do something.

When I’m on stage, of course my mind is working, but there are times when you feel like you’re connected to a source. I think artists completely understand that moment – or those moments – because you feel the most alive. Once you genuinely feel it from the heart, it intensifies it to another level which I can’t explain. You feel disconnected from everyone and the most connected with yourself. I hope everyone gets to feel that once in their life.

As a dancer, the beauty is I get to share it with a lot of people – when I'm on stage, when I'm teaching or when I'm learning. It's about sharing the joy with each other; it connects a lot of people together.



Upasana Madan, Principal dancer at Shiamak Davar's Institute for Performing Arts

Upasana madan

Passion is something that comes straight from the heart. It’s when the brain shuts off and your soul and your heart tell you to do something.

NIDHI JAYASHANKAR

“Being limitless is about pursuing your aspirations with determination and resilience, having a limitless mindset, defying stereotypes and embracing your potential.”

NIVEDITA SHYAM

“I love the modern take on traditional jewellery; it's something I can pass on to my daughters.”

Freedom requires courage to do what you choose to do, and take responsibility for your actions. It means being able to do exactly what I want, without being questioned, with equal opportunities.

The other big aspect for me is being free from guilt. That’s something I've learned as a mother – to not feel guilty when you’re at work away from your child, or when you’re at home with your child and away from work. One of the things that I've learnt in recent times is to have my own sacred space within my house. A space where I can be on my own, do whatever I need for myself, where I’m not being a caregiver to other people.

I think my independence has come from having parents who had a very large spirit of adventure. My father was making hang gliders and jumping off cliffs for a living, and my mother introduced me to quite significant figures of history like Joan of Arc and Simon De Beauvoir. So I had this combination of both intellectual and physical freedom– my mom being the brain and my father being the free-spirited adventurer.

Every step along the way you have people who inspire you. My teacher in school, Miss Mangaldas, gave me the idea of studying drama when I didn't know what I wanted to do in my life. She looked up all the best drama schools that I could go to. People that I know, who I've worked with in the world of law like Karuna Nundy. Books, of course; I’ve read so many, from Edith Wharton to Simon De Beauvoir to Edith Piaf…. Right now the book I'm reading is by Jessica Chan. A lot of female writers have inspired me. My daughter, Sappho – I named her after a Greek poet who was the first female poet in history. So yes, along the line there have been many people who have paved some of the way for us.

Before, if you were trying to be different, you were labelled as unconventional. That was a favourite word that people used with me 10 years ago, but today everybody is unconventional. There are so many female directors, and camerawomen. I think it’s changed in many fields. When you have the female gaze within the professional community, you’re getting a different voice, you’re getting a different perspective. And so that solidarity, of having other women in the room is really, really important for change…and that has started happening.

I think freedom is exposure to choice; to as many different kinds of things as possible. So that you can pick and choose what you love. But it takes courage to be free. It’s not that because you’re free you can do whatever you want and not take any responsibility.

One instance I remember of being truly free is when we lived part of the time in the Nilgiri mountains because that’s where my dad was teaching hang gliding. We did a lot of trekking, my dad and I, with our two dogs. When I was about 13 years old, after my parents divorced, I was really missing those walks. And one day my mom said ‘take the dogs and go – you can go on your own’. So I took my two fierce Dobermans and we walked for two hours to the top. I opened up the leash and they were running, the wind was strong and I was just at the top of this mountain in a moment of true freedom.

I feel free when I've done something that was difficult and I can let it go. I remember when I was shooting for Margarita with a Straw, I was in a wheelchair for two months and wanted to stay ‘method’ because it was such a challenging part. The day that I finished the shoot, we were in Coney Island, off New York, and I stepped out of my wheelchair for the first time in months, and just ran on the beach. That felt really good because we worked so hard so get through that, and I felt like I earned it.


kalki koechlin

Freedom requires courage to do what you choose to do, and take responsibility for your actions. It means being able to do exactly what I want, without being questioned, with equal opportunities.

SHIVANI ANAND

 “None of us are perfect, but what we should strive for is to be a slightly better version of ourselves every day, whether in our personal or professional life.”

SARAYU HEGDE

“Passion is finding something that truly makes you feel alive. Most of us spend our lives existing, but I think it's important to live – to find something that you’re passionate about.”

I think love is one of the most beautiful things in the world. It’s about sharing, and respecting yourself and others.

For me, love is confidence. Because you have to love yourself first before loving others. I think it’s the most important thing in the world.


STEPHANIE RATUGAMAGE

Love is forgiveness – to have the strength to forgive someone.

Passion can be quite porous – a flicker of a feeling that is so true and so quick but perhaps you’re changed by it forever. I don't think one can truly experience the pleasure and wonder of art until they become it.

In the last two years, I've really fallen in love with dance in a much more truthful, beautiful way. It’s a whole new experience, because now I’m doing it with such wonder and willingness to appreciate every nuance, every move, and the meaning behind everything. I feel very struck by it, and I’m willing to devote myself to bettering it.

I think movement is a very integral part of expression. It’s the physical manifestation of storytelling when it comes to performing, to arts. And as an actor I do treat my body like a tool, just like with my voice. These are tools I have at my disposal so as to communicate the story – the character’s inner feelings and thoughts and motives. So I think dance is a huge support because you learn structure but you also learn ease. When you’re able to do it with joy, there’s transcendence…and there’s just such beauty and freedom in that.

I feel most focused when I’m driven by mystery and beauty. The key to bringing focus in a moment of performance is to truly let go, to truly transcend. Because only when there is hysteria can there be magic; only where there is absolute submission can there be transcendence. So I don't think one can truly experience the pleasure and the wonder of art until they become it. Like how they say there is no separation between the dance and the dancer sometimes – that moment, it’s so rare to come by, even for the most extraordinary performers.

CHITRA PATHI

“Love is something which brings you joy; it creates a flutter in your heart. It is delicate, but at the same time, it can be resilient.”

EESHANI GUPTA

“Freedom is important to me because growing up I was given the opportunity to choose. When I put on wings, it just makes me feel like I could do anything.”

Diksha Basu is the author of the Windfall (2017) which is currently in pre-production as a television show in Los Angeles, USA. She is slated to release her next novel, destination wedding, this year.

What I really try to do – which is increasingly difficult as the world sort of goes up in flames around us – is to bring a certain lightness of touch to everything. Small things used to spark off tempers within me, and that has really mellowed. It’s a combination of my kids and my books. I’ve chosen to narrow what I’m looking at, so every moment has taken on an intensity which is very joyous.

How do you define achievement? On the one hand, did I simply get pregnant and have children? Yes. If you look at the way the world works, it doesn’t feel like an achievement. But on the other hand, it’s hard not to feel a sense of vanity when I look at them. But then when you think about man-hours put in, I probably put more into my books. The achievement really is this point in my life right now – everything personal, professional, emotional…the growth. All that has fallen together like a puzzle piece to form this current moment.

I always want more. I hope I keep wanting more. Otherwise, I’d be terribly bored. Am I happy? Yes. Content? No. Because I always want to have the next goal in sight. I’d be scared the day I didn’t. And there are days that I don’t – and I am scared on those days.

Some days I do nothing; I struggle to get out of bed. That’s something I only recently decided I want to start talking about because I went through a diagnosed postpartum depression. I want to be more open about dealing with my anxiety. I don’t have a full understanding of it; that’s why it continues to be a challenge. Because in many ways I’m not at all sensitive. I’m extremely strong and emotionally resilient.

Diksha Basu

As a woman, as someone raising daughters, just as a general citizen of the world, it’s very easy to be afraid. How I manage to not be scared is through humour. Some people may say it’s through averting my eyes, but I think it is exactly because I engage so deeply with the world around me that I feel a need to find a route that isn’t fear.



I was born and brought up in a remote village in Nepal. I come from an underprivileged family, with brothers and sisters who were so much older than me. We used to worry that if we ate in the morning, how would we eat in the evening, and if we ate in the evening, what would we eat the next morning? If one piece of clothing happened to tear, I could see in my parents’ eyes that they were concerned about how to get clothes for us.

People ask, ‘When did you realise you’re different?’ but…you just know. Even as a child, I knew that I wasn’t like everyone else. I had two sisters who were younger than me, so it was my duty to look after them. When I used to play with my sisters, I used to wear their clothes. Even when I would play with my friends in the village, my favourite role to play-act was always the bride. And all the other kids would also say ‘Yes, yes, she will do it well.’

When I was growing up and going to school, everyone used to tease me. They would say, ‘You’re a boy, why do you talk like a girl?’ Even at home, my brothers and even my dad would say ‘You’re a boy. You should talk like a boy, behave like a boy, do your work like a boy.’ That’s the mindset in our society; there are certain ways a boy is supposed to act and other ways a girl is supposed to speak and behave. So many times, I tried to change my behaviour, but it couldn’t happen. For a little while, yes, I would manage to talk in a masculine way, but then I’d automatically go back. Because of this, I used to face a lot of mental pressure in school and in the village. Till grade 5 I used to do well in school. But slowly, I started thinking about myself, asking ‘Why am I like this? Why do they tease me like this?’ Because of this, my grades got lower, and when I was completing my schooling, I failed. Somehow, I gathered the strength to do it again and complete it.

I went to Kathmandu, the capital city, for higher education. But my family’s financial situation wasn’t strong enough to support my studies. Everyone from my village works after school, and pays for their own further education. So I started working in a restaurant, washing dishes for 500 rupees a month. I would get bullied by clients and colleagues. The words that are used against transgender and LGBTQ+ people in our world, I can’t even repeat those words. To come from there to where I am today…I can’t believe that I’m here.

I lived with my cousin when I was working and studying in the city, and we didn’t have a TV. So one day I was watching TV with the neighbours, and there was a story playing about Nepal’s LGBTQ+ and transgender community. Everyone was saying ‘Look, it’s the transgender people of our community’. It was the first time I had seen that, and I realised I belong to this community. But how could I say it out loud? I couldn’t express it in front of them. But that’s the day I realised that I’m part of a community and there are other people like me. I understood that I needed to speak to these people, but I didn’t know how. Then one night, when I was on my way home, I saw a group of transgender friends and went up to talk to them. I said I felt that I belonged with them and asked them to take me along, to help me. I told them I wanted to dress like them, wear makeup like them. They took me to the office at the LGBTQ+ centre. This was in 2005. That’s when I figured out what my identity was; and who I was. All those questions I used to ask myself in my childhood – it took me getting to that moment to realise who I am. That was one of the best days of my life, when I discovered myself. After that, I disclosed my identity and never hid it. I told my family and friends – they distanced themselves from me.

When I was working at the restaurant, there were a few people who were nice to me, and they would say I looked like a model. But I didn’t know what a model even was, because I came from such a remote village and had no understanding of fashion. When I finally learned about fashion and modelling, I participated in a transgender beauty pageant in 2007 and got a bit more knowledge about the industry. I didn’t win, but I reached the top 10 and won the Miss Charming title. I did consider becoming a model after that, but I was still struggling with my identity because society wasn’t accepting me and I didn’t have a relationship with my family. I was mentally fighting with myself. Finally, I got a break in 2009, with one of Nepal’s national magazines, VOW – Voices of Women. They did a story about the transgender community and featured me and a friend of mine on the cover. And that’s where my journey began.

My modelling journey has been such a long one, but I feel embarrassed to be called a supermodel. I still feel like the same Anjali. My journey to this point has not been so easy. After I got my break in 2009, I couldn't get any work in Nepal for two years. Finally in 2011, a designer in Nepal gave me a chance to walk the ramp. It wasn’t paid, but I was very happy that I was finally walking as a model. I faced a lot of auditions in Nepal, but because of my identity, nobody wanted to give me work. My friends who started out modelling with me would get work, but I wouldn’t. I would ask judges directly, ‘Why didn’t I get selected?’ So many of them would say ‘I think the client doesn’t want a transgender model’.

I still didn’t accept defeat. I would go to every single audition, even if they rejected me twice. I auditioned thrice for Nepal Fashion Week and still couldn’t get selected. I modelled in Nepal till 2016, until I made a name for myself there. My friends would tell me, ‘You should try internationally.’ But at that time in society, for someone of my identity…there wasn’t that much work for transgender people, and the way LGBTQ+ people were viewed wasn’t very good. So I didn’t have much confidence in myself. I thought, ‘How would I start?.’ I didn’t have much money either, to go to any other country and apply. You need money to travel, eat, etc. I wanted to be an international model but the question was ‘Where do I start?’

In 2016 I thought, I can at least go to India. Because to go there, Nepalese people don’t need a visa. And even though my English wasn’t good and still isn’t, I could speak a little bit of Hindi. So I thought of auditioning for Lakme Fashion Week. I began to research how to audition for it, and when it happens. I found the audition details and my heart was beating so fast…. But I first emailed the team to ask whether I could come, because if after coming all the way from Nepal to Mumbai they say a transgender model is not allowed, then what would I do? I also emailed that I was over 30, to check whether there was an age bar as well. Someone from the team replied saying that they didn’t know, but that they would have a team meeting and get back to me. Finally, they replied saying yes, you can come for the audition. I was so excited. For the first time, I came all the way from Nepal to Mumbai. I was very nervous, being from such a small town and also being transgender, and auditioning for Lakme Fashion Week for the first time, at the St Regis Hotel, on the 37th floor! My heart was racing. I got through the first and second rounds, but I didn’t get selected. I went back to Nepal disappointed. I didn’t know what to do. But I couldn’t get modelling out of my head. Then I found out that Lakme Fashion Week auditions happen twice a year, so I felt I should try again. I came back for a second time, but didn’t even get to the second round. I was really upset – I thought my modelling journey was coming to an end. I wouldn’t be able to do any more, because I had gone twice by plane and stayed in hotels – I didn’t have enough savings. But whenever I looked in the mirror I’d think, ‘Anjali, you shouldn’t stop modelling. You should try.’

My mummy always said that to achieve anything, you should keep trying. One shouldn’t accept defeat. Just put in the hard work, and figure out what your weaknesses are. So I decided to audition for the third time. But before trying again, I thought about what my mistakes were. I did a lot of research, looked at the models who were being selected over me – how were they walking, what were their expressions like, what were they wearing? I did research about makeup, dressing, walking, posing…everything. I was determined to be selected this time, no matter what. I prepared the way I used to in school, when I would study so hard that I’d come first. And finally, out of more than 200 candidates, I got selected. That’s where my journey began, and I think the rest is history.

It’s important to know yourself; accept yourself, for who you are. If you don’t accept yourself, how can you expect anything from society and everyone around you? At times, for the path you choose, you need to re-evaluate your decisions, seek guidance and keep trying harder if things fail. This is my advice – ask questions, ask for help, ask for advice.

I am weaving my own narrative as I move ahead in life. I am representing a community with that story. We live in a society where we wouldn’t be able to make progress without each other’s support, regardless of colour or gender. We need to understand that we’re all humans first.



Anjali Lama,Transgender model and activist

anjali lama

People ask, ‘When did you realise you’re different?’ but…you just know. Even as a child, growing up in an underprivileged family in a remote village in Nepal, I knew that I wasn’t like everyone else.

Ruchika Sachdeva has taken her womenswear label, Bodice, to exacting heights, simultaneously becoming the recipient of the prestigious international Woolmark prize (2018)

I’m incredibly driven. I thought that maybe, with age, I will mellow. But the older I get, the more authentic I want to be. When I was younger, I would want to control things more, and I think that was more out of fear. I was afraid of the outcome. Today, I have no fixed plans – I have guidelines, because I’ve discovered that magic lies in the unexpected.

I’m not saying it’s difficult to become successful when you come from a humble background, but it takes persistence. And for me, the proudest moments have been those in which I questioned what it really means to be successful.

I had to grow up faster and was pushed to a level that I didn’t expect. Today I am basing things on what I am feeling, rather than what people are telling me. The voice is alive inside me. Success is something that comes without compromise. Not from an aesthetic or product point of view, but more from the feeling, purpose and values point of view. What am I willing to sacrifice, in order to get something in return?

There’s a side of me which is a bit introspective and spiritual. Recently, I discovered a book which is a more philosophical version of the Gita, and speaks about working on the journey without worrying about the outcome. This would help you feel better, and make you less anxious. The moment you let go of fear, you can create better.

Ruchika Sachdeva

I’m incredibly driven.The older I get, the more authentic I want to be. When I was younger, I would want to control things more.I was afraid of the outcome. Today, I have no fixed plans – I have guidelines, because I’ve discovered that magic lies in the unexpected.

I believe that it’s important to be empathetic in all accounts. Even when I’m in a situation where I feel conflicted. There’s this line, I don’t know where I read it or heard it: ‘Being empathetic is looking someone in the eye and realising the only difference between where you are and where they are might just be luck.’ It’s just being able to see that you can smile and walk away. Even if you can’t smile, it’s not necessary to agitate a situation. And you can always act kindly. It may not feel pleasant at that point, but walking away or treating a situation kindly always turns out positively.

In this industry, if you can be happy for another person, that goes a long way. Because even though it is competitive, the second you’re able to appreciate other people's success and at the same time have your separate journey through it – that is the essence of maintaining friendships. And I've been able to do that.

I think good friendships have a sense of resilience. Like if you don’t meet even over a long period or you drift apart…but then when you catch up, no matter what you’ve been through, you’re able to connect with each other and be empathetic. To just forgive, have fun, enjoy each other’s company, and feel comfortable. It comes down to resilience – you go through multiple phases of two separate lives together.


SANA THAMPI

It’s important to be empathetic in all accounts. Treating a situation kindly always turns out positively.

I’ve been living in Paris for two years as a florist – I enjoy working with a part of nature, sharing beauty with people and sharing happiness. I believe that love is a wish to make someone happier. It could be a friend, or even someone you don’t know in a supermarket – we can start with a simple smile.

For me, love is forgiveness. We all make mistakes, but to have the strength to forgive someone takes love. It helps us improve ourselves and have better communication.



AURELIE BELIN

When it comes to love, when it comes to empathy, people think it’s very difficult but actually it’s not. It’s just a few baby steps that everyone needs to take in their life. Love is just…love. It should be cherished, and it should be learned, actually, because not many people know what love is. Love can take you anywhere and everywhere.

We always need to cherish each other through the ups and the downs. People always think that in our industry we’re always competitive and we always have that bitterness towards each other, but that’s not the case. We meet as people. We don’t meet as models, we don’t meet by our profession – we meet personally. And I've never felt intimidated by any of my people. I won’t call them colleagues because that becomes very professional. I call them ‘my people’ because it’s very difficult to find your kind of people. And once you find them, I think you’ve won.


KRIPALI SAMDARIYA

When it comes to love, when it comes to empathy, people think it’s very difficult but actually it’s not. We always need to cherish each other.

Born in an apocalyptic and anarchic cult to Indo-Dutch parents, Tamara moss shed belief at 16 to thrive as one of India’s top models before she gave her time to empowering the lives of a local Basti in Jaisalmer. Due to her efforts, 77 children have made up her alternative learning centre program and ten have been sponsored into private schools.

For me, it’s about application of consciousness. I question whether there is such a thing as a human being. Just because you have a body and a form does not mean you are empathetic and compassionate or are actively making impactful choices and decisions.

It feels that change comes in waves. Some people are at the crest, and some people get pulled along the way. I don’t judge those people, but we have a choice, and some of us like to ride the edge.

My biggest struggle was being in a system that is built to exploit...that’s the reason I left fashion modelling. You’re young when you start, and the industry likes you naive and gullible. It’s very nice to express some parts of your sexuality and creativity, but it's a dead end when after 12 years, they don’t want to hear anything that you have to say as a changemaker. People are used by unethical corporations for things one can sell or market: their sexuality, looks, and naiveté. Once you know yourself, you can choose what you want to contribute to, because you believe in yourself and you know your worth.

Even if you need to work on yourself, if you have an open heart, you will be drawn into situations that will polish you, and you’ll find your own brilliance in these moments. Many times I feel like my experience in Jaisalmer was gold...I found my ‘gold’ in the challenges and I found people who had so much potential; so much treasure.


Tamara Moss

My biggest struggle was being in a system that was built to exploit, that is the reason I left fashion modeling. It's a dead end when after 12 years, they don't want to hear anything that you have to say as a changemaker.

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SRAVANI GADDE

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